not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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