its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
