it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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