nut hugger
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
