he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize