I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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