Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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