I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
