He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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