Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
