you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
