Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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