There was a lot of him and a little penis
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
