Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
