im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize