Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
