You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't turn off my feet"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
