feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
