Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
