Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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