you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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