So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
