I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You have to summon your inner elephant
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
