dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
