I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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