did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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