8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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