I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
