dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
