I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
