I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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