So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
