i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
