was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize