My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
