at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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