I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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