so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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