So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
