yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize