Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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