covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
