Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
