Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
