Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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