I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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