I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
