piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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