Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
