Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
