That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
