Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
