Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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