North Korea, Best Korea!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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