Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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