i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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