shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
